{"id":205526,"date":"2023-02-22T10:59:25","date_gmt":"2023-02-22T15:59:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jewishexponent.com\/?p=205526"},"modified":"2023-02-22T10:59:25","modified_gmt":"2023-02-22T15:59:25","slug":"despite-digital-dating-jews-still-look-for-love-in-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewishexponent.com\/despite-digital-dating-jews-still-look-for-love-in-person\/","title":{"rendered":"Despite Digital Dating, Jews Still Look for Love In Person"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"In
Attendees of Be Single No More\u2019s Jewish speed dating event on Feb. 16 schmooze. | Courtesy of Susan Mitchell<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

V<\/span>alentine\u2019s Day \u2014 far from a Jewish holiday \u2014 is over, and Tu B\u2019Av, the Jewish holiday of love, isn\u2019t for months. But love is still in the air for Jewish Philadelphians.<\/span><\/p>\n

On Feb. 16, Be Single No More, founded by Jewish owner Susan Mitchell, hosted a speed dating event for 20- and 30-something Jewish singles; it\u2019s just one example of how single people, fed up with apps, are not only looking to meet their match in person but also in a Jewish environment.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s just such a need in our community, to bring a place, in person, that people can meet and connect,\u201d Mitchell said. \u201cEspecially when it comes to dating in community, you really want to see people in person and have that connection.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

At the event, hosted at the Infusion Lounge in Old City, Mitchell sees attendees, about 20-35, not only schmoozing, but connecting Jewishly, talking about their bar and bat mitzvahs or favorite Jewish foods. Some even recognize each other from Hebrew school decades prior.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a reminder to Mitchell that dating in person isn\u2019t such a lost art, especially in a world where dating apps, albeit frustrating, are the norm.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you\u2019re at a speed dating, what you see is what you get,\u201d she said. \u201cThere\u2019s no catfishing; the person isn\u2019t wearing a mask; the picture isn\u2019t 20 years old. Like it\u2019s them. It\u2019s who they are.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Michal Naisteter, a Philadelphia-based Jewish matchmaker, has made similar observations.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like 99 out of 100 people haven\u2019t necessarily enjoyed the apps,\u201d she said.<\/span><\/p>\n

On dating apps, people are impatient, often swiping left (declining a profile) at first glance of any negative trait. In person, you\u2019re more likely to have patience with a person who\u2019s not your type.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we used to meet people at bars or in public, we didn\u2019t look at them as these checklists and data points and things like that,\u201d Naisteter said. \u201cWe would look at who the whole person is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Gavi Weitzman, a 20-something artist in Philadelphia, has experienced little success on dating apps since joining apps such as Hinge and Bumble.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so hard to tell if you actually connect with someone online because you\u2019re seeing a very curated version of them,\u201d Weitzman said. \u201cYou don\u2019t hear their voice or hear their inflections; you don\u2019t hear how funny they are or how they look at you, and those are all things, I think, that inform your attraction to someone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But despite little success with dating apps, many people continue to use them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re easy,\u201d said Michael Spanier, a Jewish Haddonfield, New Jersey, resident. \u201cYou can do it from the couch. You can do it late at night, when you only have a moment, as opposed to waiting for certain Friday night events.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Apps such as Hinge also have a free option to select only Jewish options. While other apps such as JDate or Lox Club are made for Jewish users, the subscription fees and smaller dating pool make them less appealing to Spanier.<\/span><\/p>\n

While the easiness of dating apps is part of the appeal, it\u2019s also a big reason why they\u2019re frustrating, according to Spanier.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the issue,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s so easy, people are putting very little energy or effort into it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

If there\u2019s a speed dating or singles event, attendees will get dressed up and give themselves a pep talk before stepping out of the house. The greater the stakes for going out and meeting people, the more effort someone is likely to put in.<\/span><\/p>\n

But in person or online, there are still plenty of Jews wanting to access exclusively Jewish dating spaces, which has benefits to them, regardless of the medium they use. In a world of endless scrolling and myriad of singles events, finding a more curated community to begin dating efforts makes the process less intimidating.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a culture I come from. This is important to me,\u201d Spanier said. \u201cI\u2019ve noticed that there\u2019s a lot more to relate to.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Naisteter refers to Jewish dating spaces as a \u201csafe container,\u201d a feeling that can continue in more serious relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBeing Jewish is just such a huge part of my life,\u201d Weitzman said. \u201cAnd if someone doesn\u2019t have that history, then I feel like it\u2019s very hard to understand who I am. I don\u2019t want to have to explain myself to someone. I want someone to also have that love for going to shul or know what Yom Kippur is all about.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

srogelberg@midatlanticmedia.com<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Valentine\u2019s Day \u2014 far from a Jewish holiday \u2014 is over, and Tu B\u2019Av, the Jewish holiday of love, isn\u2019t for months. But love is still in the air for Jewish Philadelphians. On Feb. 16, Be Single No More, founded by Jewish owner Susan Mitchell, hosted a speed dating event for 20- and 30-something Jewish […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13397,"featured_media":205528,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,7,18,8],"tags":[15166,13294,15167,15165],"section":[],"coauthors":[13222],"yoast_head":"\nDespite Digital Dating, Jews Still Look for Love In Person - Jewish Exponent<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jewishexponent.com\/despite-digital-dating-jews-still-look-for-love-in-person\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Despite Digital Dating, Jews Still Look for Love In Person - Jewish Exponent\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Valentine\u2019s Day \u2014 far from a Jewish holiday \u2014 is over, and Tu B\u2019Av, the Jewish holiday of love, isn\u2019t for months. 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