If there’s one thing Jews know how to do, it’s eat. And the highlight of any holiday (and there are many) is, of course, the food. Rosh Hashanah is no exception to this rule. The first food you pick up after reciting the prayers and sitting down at the table says a lot about you. Find out what your favorite Rosh Hashanah classic says about your personality according to science*.
*These descriptions are not based on any science or facts whatsoever.
Apples and Honey
People like you because you are polite and rarely late. You’re sweet and your style has probably been described as “classic.” Your favorite movie probably stars Audrey Hepburn. Your opinions can also be unexpected at times and people may not always agree with you, but they ultimately warm up to you because of your sweet nature.
Jewish Apple Cake
You get along with everyone, and everyone likes you, but you don’t let that get to your head. You have a clear sense of who you are and what you believe. People may try to change you by adding nuts, but you stick to your guns and stand up for what you believe in, which is why people love you so much. You are sweet without being overly saccharine, and people like bringing you with them to parties. And your sense of humor is rarely too dry.
Matzah Ball Soup
You are warm and nurturing. You are essentially this soup but in human form. People come to you for advice and if they need someone to talk to, you’re always there to listen. You’re the surrogate mom and/or dad of your circle of friends. You may accept this acknowledgement begrudgingly, but when a friend is in need and you’re the only one prepared with Band-Aids and crackers in your purse, they will thank you.
If kugel is your favorite, you love nothing more than snuggling up with a good book — your favorite at the moment is probably along the lines of Amy Poehler’s “Yes Please” or the latest installment of the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series (though you’ll be waiting quite a while for the next one). You’re a bit of a homebody. When friends ask you to go out, you suggest staying in and watching a movie. You’re shy at first, but people warm up to you easily.
You are definitely outgoing and fun. Your friends can always count on you, especially on the weekends. When people say, “Be there or be square,” you always correct them with, “It’s be around or be a square.” You’re the first to arrive, sometimes accompanied with crowd-pleasing chocolate (or wine, preferably). One downside: your tendency toward applying circular logic to a discussion.
You are the life of the party, and people always count on you to do just that. If wine is your favorite food, you are either partying with your favorite Jews or trying to save a few bucks. Also, if Manischewitz really is your favorite, you must be very, very hungry.
Although you may think you’re the life of the party, you’re usually just seeking attention and sucking up to your grandmother to finally get that seat at the adults’ table over your Ivy League-bound cousin. You’re good at holding a conversation, but you’ve probably seen far too many Woody Allen movies. Sarcasm is your middle name, and the phrase, “What am I, chopped liver?” is your mantra.
You are a breath of fresh air. You bring mystery and excitement everywhere you go. You live on the edge, but somehow, you’re always on time for shul (a miracle beyond comprehension). When others zig, you zag.
You are basically the Jewish Ron Swanson. Ron Swansonberg. You enjoy a good slab of meat, and what’s better than mom’s classic brisket? You know what you like, and you’re not afraid to voice your opinions. Some may view you as abrasive, but they just don’t understand your need to be brutally honest.
You may look tough on the outside, but on the inside, you’re a big softie. You are sweet once you let people get to know you. Your secret guilty pleasures are probably Hanson or Dave Matthews Band. You have a hard exterior, but you still crumble into pieces when Rose says to Jack, “I’ll never let go.”
You’re into David Lynch movies and have books about Marcel Duchamp on your coffee table. You probably only listen to music on vinyl. If you got lost, the first place someone would go to look for you is the nearest independent book store, where you hide from people who only read “On The Road” to highlight the passage about how “the only people for me are the mad ones,” though that’s probably your favorite line too even if you won’t admit it. You were into teiglach before it was cool, which it still isn’t, really.
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