Couples planning their wedding take pains to make sure every detail is chosen with precision and purpose. But sometimes you need a reality check. Sometimes you need to listen to the friend who can’t help but tell you what they think.
This is one of those times. Here are five wedding trends that you need to avoid. Trust us. We’re your friend.
The snowflake wedding
Some couples set out with the goal of having their wedding be one of a kind, and that isn’t necessarily the right mindset, according to Ariel Meadow Stallings, author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Weddings.
Rather than set out to have a unique “snowflake” wedding, couples should aim to have a wedding that truly represents them — and that doesn’t mean it needs to be different from everyone else’s wedding.
Stallings thinks if a couple is traditional, their wedding should be traditional. “And if you and your partner are weirdos, then you should definitely have a weird wedding — but the goal for any wedding is authenticity.”
The song everyone expects to hear
Nothing dates a wedding more than the songs played at the reception. It’s time to stop playing the songs everyone else is playing, writes Celina Feng on the QC Event School blog.
“Nothing is worse than your DJ honoring a dozen requests to play different renditions of ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ in the span of six hours,” she says.
She recommends that couples speak with their planner and consider what kind of music matches their personalities. And creating a do-not-play list for your DJ is always an option.
Believing television is reality
If there’s one thing that Cara Weiss, of Rockville’s Save the Date, sees as overdone, it’s the television shows that her clients watch about wedding planning.
Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings often present extravagant weddings and boast that they come with a modest price tag, she says.
“They make it look like you can do a wedding and get a lot of things affordably or for free,” says Weiss.
But in reality, the TV couples are cutting costs because their
vendors are providing services in exchange for free advertising. Weiss says that real-life couples then come to her with unrealistic expectations about what they can achieve on a small budget. Then she has to explain that money doesn’t go quite so far when it doesn’t come with a television crew.
Tossing the bouquet
If there’s one scene you can count on in every wedding episode of any ’90s sitcom, it’s the one where all the bride’s girlfriends vie to catch the bouquet. (That scene usually ends with it being caught by the least likely character.)
Tossing the bouquet, as if the woman who catches it is destined to be the next one married, needs to stay in the ’90s, says Aimee Dominick, a Washington event planner.
“Most brides are getting married in their early 20s and 30s, and are professional, working women,” said Dominick. “Their friends aren’t a bunch of women who are dying to be the woman” who gets married next.
She added that some parents don’t realize how dated the tradition is.
Smashing cake into each other’s faces
Smashing a glass is one thing. Heaving a fistful of cake into your beloved’s mug is quite another. While doing so may relieve some of the tension of the day, you also run the risk of turning your beautifully planned day into the food fight scene in Animal House.
“And if you are going to spend money looking gorgeous for your wedding day,” writes distractify.com, “the last thing you should do is mush sugar and icing onto your face.”
Read more from our Fall Simchas issue here.