Spun and Hung Out to Dry!

Bad taste … good TV — perfect together?

In some incongruous, nearly inconceivable ways … yes.

Take the case of Keith Olbermann, the smug sportsman of a broadcaster whose "Countdown" doesn't count for much ratings-wise on MSNBC when you factor in the competition over at Fox News, Bill O'Reilly's "The O'Reilly Factor," on at the same 8 p.m. nightly spot.

Who knew that all Olbermann had to do to get caught up in the spin zone was razz O'Reilly incessantly. But is riling O'Reilly with churlish and childish attacks worthy of the so-called witty wonk?

Why the more successful Fox broadcaster/behemoth pays any attention at all to the puny pest on the other side of the cable channel is incomprehensible. Shoo away gnats, Bill; don't invite them over for a blood-sucking.

(And feel free to use that as a slogan you can print up on bumper stickers and sell in your O'Reilly online store.)

Whereas Olbermann has staked a mini-claim to fame by nearly nightly naming O'Reilly as "Worst Person in the World," nothing could be worst than the egregious display he made of the "award" a couple of weeks ago.

At an early ayem breakfast attended by a gathering of members of the Television Critics Association in Pasadena, where "TV Turn-Ons" got a forkful of eggs and an earful of Olbermann egging on O'Reilly, Olbermann passed off ignorance as insight, salaciousness as sarcasm.

Holding up a cute cut-out face of O'Reilly — the mask was cute, not O'Reilly — in front of his own, Olbermann quickly and mockingly gave a seig heil salute. Was that laughter heard in the room — or the echoes of goose-steps from history?

Fascist voguing as a fashionable and fun source of a slap-down? Newsman as Nazi? It was in such poor taste, it could have been labeled "The Worst Schtick in the World."

Or, better yet, maybe it will appear on O'Reilly's "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day."

Whatever one makes of either's politics, Keith, maybe you should put your concentration on camp humor, not objectionable and officious swastika swagger.

Or maybe it's just time to come out of the spin cycle and give your schtick a good wash 'n' dry.

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Who knew that such a swearing, cussing, foul-mouthed, vile-spitting, lurid sulking character could be …


We're not talking TV; we're talking HBO. And we're not even talking "Deadwood."

Kim (Pamela S. Adlon) is "Lucky Louie"'s overstressed shrew of a wife on the HBO comedy, wrapping up its first season this Sunday, who just came out of the … off the … bimah.

Ironically, as Louie (Louis C.K.) suddenly found himself attracted to Catholicism and the allure of confessional, the episode's most startling confession was that Kim is Jewish, an admission tossed off as casually as a spatula sending a latke soaring in air.

With such a mouth, she's no great win for the religion; Hadassah, hold your invitations. She'll turn your luncheons into a Jerry Springer-style brawl.

Kim has such a pisk … not since Ari of "Entourage" has the term "mouthpiece" been given such a diss of a definition.

But, then, that is Ari's job — mouthpiece.

Since "Entourage" does immediately precede "Lucky Louie," just wondering what kind of bout it would be if the two faced off against each other.

What would such a verbal battle be called? After hearing these two take the English language on a slippery ride down a salacious slide, it could only be called:

A Jewish "mouth-off."

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And, speaking of Jerry Springer, champion of trailer-park purists …

The Jewish talk-show host — not meaning that he ever discussed Jewish issues on his show — has been tapped to compete in this fall's "Dancing With the Stars," the ABC toe-off in which "celebs" pair with real terpsichorean talent to become No. 1 dance duo in the entire world.

Rumor has it that Springer is boning up on a relatively new step, shown previously only on his show: One-two-three, splat; one-two-three, splat.

America's next dancing craze: "The Chair Toss." 




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