The Last Word: Chupah Chutzpah!

Looks like these “Wedding Crashers” (Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, center) get to chew some chicken fat with real members of a wedding party. Oh, sure, they got some broken glass in their feet as crashers, but it’s all part of the steps they take to Hava Negillah and a good time in the new comedy about men who will be boys. By the way, as abashed as he is to admit it, TLW once did the same thing as a callow youth, crashing a wedding at the Shelron in Cheltenham, where he and a gaggle of friends ate very well as “guests” of the bride’s family. As for his penance, TLW can only say … Happy 35th anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Weinstein!

Give ’Em El! With all the news about airlines merging (not in mid-air, thank goodness!), TLW pondered what a natural combo El Al and Iberia, Spain’s national airlines, would make (not that they’re considering it). Their new name? El El.

Revisionist Hiss-tory? Perhaps those recent snappy pix of Saddam Hussein in his white jockeys were taken just as he was changing costumes. Because, there’s no doubt Saddam is ready for his closeup now — and TLW doesn’t just mean his upcoming trial. Seems the Royal Shakespeare Company is offering a production of “Richard III” next year as part of its “The Complete Works” series at Stratford-Upon-Avon — with this Richard looking a lot like a younger Saddam. TLW hears that the actor portraying the title character will have an enclosed foxhole for a dressing room — just to get him into the spirit of things.

Warning: Bagels Schmear Easily With talk of labeling soda cans with stickers announcing the contents will make you fat, TLW was wondering just how far this “food fear” would go — and then he bought a bar of halvah. And there it was — stuck to the sticky stuff: “Eating this may cause you to break into a hora.” And they were right.

Well, It Beats Banging a Shoe From Russia with … BOOM! When a destruction company started dismantling the old Motel Moskva in Moscow, they discovered thousands of pounds of TNT, to be used in case of emergency during World War II: If Nazis overtook Moscow, the hotel was to be kept out of their hands by blowing it up. Yep, that’ll do it every time.

Having It on the Up Side Two weeks ago, the stock market surged on what is known as “the Goldilocks Rally,” which happens when certain items come into play. Which is not to be confused with the “Goldberg Rally,” known to take effect when Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg get frisky on their 50th wedding anniversary.


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