Although Joe Perice is a member of the Goldstein family and always knew that he felt a special calling toward the family business of providing funeral homes and services in the Delaware Valley, his path to his current position as vice president and funeral director is anything but typical.
The great-grandson of one of the original founders, Joseph Goldstein, Perice has suffered from the debilitating nerve disease CRPS, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, for more than a decade after taking a hard hit in a hockey game in his youth, which kept him from working or living independently for much of his young adult life, despite a calling towards joining the family team at Goldsteins’ Rosenberg’s Funeral Directors. The disease is a chronic condition that causes extreme pain and inflammation and has no cure.
Complicating the already dire circumstance is that CRPS, called RSD when Perice was diagnosed in the late 2000s, is misunderstood or even treated with skepticism by some people.
The formerly athletic and popular Perice found himself bedbound, unable to work or have fun, with many people — even some of his closest friends — questioning how bad his pain could really be.
While CRPS doesn’t leave wide scars or cause jaundice, Perice tells stories that leave no doubt of whether what he went through and continues to go through is real. Modern medicine has yet to tackle the best approach to treating CRPS, but Perice can recall first receiving the diagnosis of what the doctor called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy.
“I was having some issues after the hit, and I went to see a doctor. I took my shoes off and he said, ‘I hate to say this, but I think you have CRPS and you should see a neurologist,’” Perice said.
When Perice removed his shoes, what the doctor saw was a full set of toes completely curled, as if they were trying to hold on to something.
“I couldn’t really move them,” Perice said.
That was enough for the doctor to recommend a specialist, who didn’t take long to confirm the initial diagnosis. Despite the fact that they knew what was wrong with Perice, generally speaking, the doctors couldn’t do anything about it.
“When I first got diagnosed, there was no information about this disease out there. No one knew what it was. People thought you were crazy or just going around saying you had pain because there’s no real test to prove it or show it,” he said.
Through all of this, Perice struggled with his self-esteem. He was a smart, capable young man with a supportive family and a good head on his shoulders. He could have been doing anything, but was stuck in bed instead, with pain so bad that he couldn’t care for himself. For a while, he didn’t see many of his friends, or even text them.
Then, towards the end of the pandemic, Perice’s symptoms started to get a little more bearable. He decided that it was enough to try to chip into the family legacy.
“I decided that I had to get my life back,” he said.
He acquired his funeral director’s license in 2021. He still wasn’t ready to work yet, though. What sealed his comeback was a trip to an alternative medicine clinic in Arkansas — something he was skeptical about at first.
“There are no medical doctors there, so I wasn’t sure what a chiropractor would be able to do,” he said. “But the holistic stuff they have going on is really great.”
After a year in Arkansas and symptoms alleviated enough to permit work, albeit with regular grimaces, Perice moved back east and joined his kin at Goldsteins’ Rosenberg’s Funeral Directors. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
“Every day is a struggle because the pain is still there. I take medication to try to help, but it’s really just trying to deal with it,” he said.
For Perice, however, the journey is what has given him the ability to thrive in a role that requires emotional complexity and stamina.
“After going through everything that I went through, I really feel like this is my calling. Obviously what these families are dealing with is different, but it’s still painful. I do whatever I need to do to make sure that the [funeral day] goes as smoothly as it can,” he said. “I just feel like I’m in the right place. And after everything that happened, this is the perfect job for me to deal with [my own pain] and help these families that need it.”
The Cinnaminson resident said that, while he doesn’t belong to a synagogue, he is seeking one out and is happy that he works in the Jewish professional space. Some of the little things mean the most to Perice: being able to attend Rosh Hashanah services in person or taking part in a family holiday celebration on his own two feet. For years, he missed those activities.
Now, he spends most holidays at work, as the funeral business doesn’t take breaks and most of his co-workers and family members have children with which they want to spend those precious moments. Perice is happy to chip in where he can. After all, for a long time, he would have given anything to be working in any capacity, even on New Year’s Day or July 4.
While recent events gave his dream a new context, Perice has always wanted to follow in the footsteps of his great-grandfather, as well as many others. He vividly described a moment that he knew this business was for him.
As a kid, Perice was shopping with his mother when the family of a well-known client came up to her following the large and complex funeral of the family’s patriarch. They thanked her profusely, noting how her background as a grief educator was essential to their healing.
“Hearing how much of a difference she made and how much of a difference we can make for these families is what I remember most,” he said.