By Ellen Braunstein
Shalom bayit, peace in the home, is a cherished Jewish value that Becca Bassman incorporates into her therapy sessions for couples in the Philadelphia area.
“Judaism is something I integrate into my work with couples, especially around the importance of communication and honesty — even when it’s difficult,” she said.
This 31-year-old resident of Berlin, New Jersey, recently became a fellow with Tribe 12 in Philadelphia. The Jewish entrepreneurial program for young professionals will give her guidance and resources to pursue her passion of running couple’s retreats in addition to her private practice.
“I am excited to introduce retreat opportunities for premarital couples looking to build a solid foundation as they approach marriage and plan for the future,” said Bassman, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in sex therapy.
Premarital counseling is often underappreciated, she said, “but it can be a transformative experience, helping even strong couples strengthen their bond and prepare for a successful, lasting partnership.”
In July, she served on a Tribe 12 panel discussion on the Jewish perspective on dating, including Orthodox practices. She spoke about how dating can be fun while still being intentional.
Her goal is to help couples — Jewish or not — feel at ease in their relationships, while addressing key topics that arise before marriage.
“It’s truly fulfilling to know that I can contribute to such meaningful work. I feel incredibly blessed to love what I do, and I learn so much from my clients every day,” Bassman said.
It’s crucial that their relationships endure.
“This approach serves as a valuable tool to help couples, particularly Jewish couples, feel confident in their ability to build a lasting, lifelong commitment,” she said.
Bassman has made many Jewish connections throughout her life.
She grew up in Cheltenham and her family belonged to Beth Sholom Congregation. She celebrated both her bat mitzvah and confirmation at the Elkins Park Conservative synagogue. She continued her Jewish education for two years at Gratz (College) Hebrew High School in Melrose Park.
Her favorite childhood memories were making latkes on Chanukah and hamantaschen on Purim with her grandmother.
“It was more so watching her make them since I would always be a little bit of a mess. She played a significant role in shaping my understanding of my own Judaism. Her love for Israel and Judaism was contagious,” Bassman said.
Bassman majored in psychology and minored in Jewish studies and in sexuality and gender studies at Pennsylvania State University. On the State College campus, she engaged with Aish Penn State, participating in weekly Shabbat dinners and other activities.
“Showing up for Shabbat dinner built a piece of my social life that I didn’t realize I was missing. Having that space and sense of normalcy to celebrate the Jewish holidays with friends, who were doing the same, was really beneficial for me.”
She also traveled on an Aish trip to Poland where she saw sites of former ghettos and concentration camps.
“It felt like a fever dream. It was very intense, allowing for meaningful conversation and closeness with the other participants,” she said.
Bassman attended Thomas Jefferson University for graduate school. She finished her degree in May 2019 and started her private practice a month later.
In recent years, she has attended events hosted by Aish HaTorah Philadelphia, an outreach organization, in Bala Cynwyd. She has also connected with The Chevra, a Philadelphia group for young Jewish professionals and graduate students. She calls herself Conservative and has yet to settle on one synagogue.
“I’m excited to explore the many wonderful options available,” Bassman said.
She traveled to Israel with The Chevra in 2023.
“On that trip, I felt very aware and conscious of my Judaism,” she said.
Her husband of three years, Josh, had recently converted to Judaism.
“Seeing him in Jerusalem was definitely a moment for me where I felt that I am Jewish; now my husband’s Jewish. We’re able to show up authentically in this space. That felt really good,” Bassman recalled.
Her hobbies include personal fashion styling, which is about expressing individuality through clothing and accessories. She works once a month at Kin Boutique in Philadelphia.
She also does women’s makeup for weddings and special occasions.
“It’s always been fun for me,” she said.
The greatest challenge in her therapy practice is realizing that “people may be resistant to the hard work happening and that it’s not a direct reflection of me as a therapist.”
She feels so rewarded when couples thrive in her practice.
“I like being able to help people show up in their most important relationships. It feels like you’re giving a special gift, helping people who maybe didn’t have role models or strong relationships in their lives,” Bassman said.
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance writer.
