The People of Gratitude

By Rabbi Kevin Lefkowitz

Parshat Vayetze

Thanksgiving has so much potential to be a wonderful, inspirational holiday but it has become practically an American minhag (ritual custom) to express gratitude by gorging ourselves and spending tons of money on purchases we do not need. One can imagine the following Talmudic questions pertaining to the laws of Thanksgiving and Black Friday:
How much must one eat on Thanksgiving? Rabbi Washington says enough so that standing up becomes strenuous but not so much that one cannot eat dessert. Rabbi Adams says enough to unbutton one’s pants but not so much to rip them.

Those who leave the table to watch football and grab a brownie on the way: do they hit their dessert requirements?

At 6 a.m. on the Friday following Thanksgiving: if one tramples a fellow shopper or cashier but does not purchase anything, do they fulfill their Black Friday obligation?

So much of how we practice Thanksgiving focuses on how we can benefit ourselves. This goes against the essence of the holiday and Jewish values because, as Leah teaches us in this week’s parsha, gratitude is an inherently Jewish act.

Genesis 29:35 reads:

“[Leah] conceived again and bore a son, and declared, ‘This time I will thank God.’ Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.”

Leah felt inner gratitude for her son and expressed it out loud because gratitude relies on both an inner feeling and outward expression. Inner feelings without expression dissipate and baseless expressions inevitably fall flat. Amazingly, as noted by Rabbi Yochanan in Tractate Berakhot, this is the first time in the Torah in which an individual thanks God!

(Berakhot 7b). I wonder if this is partly why Judah merits becoming the namesake of our people.

Judah’s name carries the same root as “hoda’ah” which translates to “thanks.” He embodies Leah’s gratitude and reminds her of the immense joy she felt having him. Named after Judah, the Jewish People are the Yehudim. In other words, we are The Grateful People!

How can we use Thanksgiving to lead more gracious lives the rest of the year? Think about the many people at your table and not at your table who contributed to your feast.

Whether by farming, harvesting, cooking, manufacturing, or selling you food, so many people (recognized and otherwise) made your holiday special. Thank them either in person or by writing a letter. I bet they would appreciate it!

Perhaps more importantly, if you enjoyed Thanksgiving, use that pleasure as motivation to help others experience the same. Whether because they feel disconnected from or have no family or could not afford the meal — or for a variety of other reasons — so many people missed out on a potentially wonderful holiday. Let’s do what we can to decrease that number next year. This too has its roots in Judaism: though he was referring to Jewish holidays, Maimonides writes that those who “eat and drink with their family but give nothing to the poor … [are] not [celebrating] ‘the joy of the commandment’ but the joy of their stomach.”

Build the gratitude muscles around Thanksgiving to lead more gracious lives the rest of the year. On a more daily basis, we express gratitude like Leah does, audibly and in accordance with our inner feelings. We do this through our blessings. Rabbi Meir in the Talmud teaches that we are to say one hundred blessings — formal expressions of gratitude — each day … and if you look at the daily liturgy, we come pretty darn close to it.

We express gratitude for the simple things every morning with the aptly named morning blessings. Thankfulness is baked into the Amidah as a regular Modim blessing, thanking God for being our Rock and salvation. We traditionally thank God every time we eat or use the restroom. Gratitude is about as Jewish as an act can be. Every time you enjoy a food, smell or beautiful view of nature is an opportunity to express gratitude and appreciation for life’s great gifts.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and pray that it inspires you to incorporate more gratitude into your daily life in the year to come.

Rabbi Kevin Lefkowitz serves as rabbi of Tiferet Bet Israel in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania. The Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia is proud to provide diverse perspectives on Torah commentary for the Jewish Exponent. The opinions expressed in this column are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Board of Rabbis.