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The Last Word

June 23, 2005 By:
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Talk About Overdoing It

Irony is … comic/radio gabber Al Franken being honored by 'Talkers' mag and being heckled by audience for talking too much. That taught the mag a lesson; next month's honoree is Marcel Marceau (above, left, center and right).

Daisy or Molly: You Decide

Now, here’s a job TLW can relate to:
The Country Music Channel is actually paying a viewer $100 G to sit at home, watch reruns of “The Dukes of Hazzard” and write a blog about it.
The viewer, Christopher Nelson, put it succinctly when telling a wire service: “Any job that’s a pants optional position is all right with me.”
TLW can relate because he had a similar job some years back, when he was paid to watch reruns of “The Goldbergs.”
Only he was compensated in cases of Yoo-Hoo.
He has never been able to lean on a widow sill ever since.

A Road Map Leads to Ditch

Whatcha think? The title for Egyptian playwright/satirist Ali Salem’s book My Journey to Israel now needs to be called My Journey to Israel: Oops, Never Mind?
Talk about your bumpy road map to peace: The prominent Egyptian writer and peace advocate was set to travel to Israel and receive an honorary doctorate from Ben-Gurion University of the Negev when his country’s government put a kibosh on the idea as too controversial a move.
TLW hears Egyptian officials recommended some light summer reading for him instead, and handed him a copy of Passport Restricted.

Penn Mightier Than the Sword — or Fist?

Woodward and Bernstein and … Penn?
Actor Sean Penn just returned from his second Mideast assignment for the San Francisco Chronicle, covering the Iranian elections.
Reportedly, the temperamental celeb reporter didn’t beat anyone up while there or find a role for Jude Law.
But Penn as a Mideast correspondent? The Jewish Exponent is expecting his application any day now. (Can just imagine those expense accounts.) What’s next — Madonna studying Judaism?

Something Up His Sleeve?

Illusionist David Blaine probably has no illusions about the guy who’s suing him for stealing “godly powers.”
The claimant also announced that he will add Bill Gates as his 2008 running mate for the presidential election.
TLW is not about to say the gent may be a micro soft in the head, but everyone knows Gates is apolitical; he just does Windows.

The Nose Knows in the News

Is there anything anti-Semitic about saying a girl needs a nose job?
Not if you’re Semitic semantics involves teens from Iran.
According to CBS News, nose jobs have become de rigueur for many an Iranian young woman exposed more and more to Western culture and fashions.
Who knew that some 40 years after “The Graduate,” the most popular profession in Iran would be … plastics?

Where’s ‘Newsweek’ Now?

Unreported, but TLW has this from a totally inaccurate source at Newsweek, the Coren family of Wilmington, Del., was visiting their local Home Depot when Papa Coren asked where the bathroom fixtures were.
The salesman pointed him in the right direction, and off he went.
At the same time, a news crew from Al-Jazarra — what timing — was visiting the store and was looking for interviews with American Jewish families.
The reporter, seeing the little boy waiting for his Dad, asked, “So, young man, where is your father? I would like to interview him.”
“Oh,” said the youngster, “the Coren’s in the toilet.”
And that is how a holy war started at the local Home Depot.

 

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