What a bunch of jokers - seriously! A quartet of Philly-born Jewish comedians add a royal edge to "The Aristocrats," the very dirty - and very funny - film opening here in August based on the most oft-told (although not oft-performed) off-color joke about a family of performers with the most interactive act of all. Stars of David - and some bars of soap - go out to Todd Glass, Bob Saget, Wayne Cotter and David Brenner for making a Friar's Roast look like chicken, uh, liver by comparison. By the way, Todd - one of Star's faves - is coming back to Philly turf this weekend; the stand-up standout will be at Comedy Works in the Northeast on June 17, and at Comedy Cabaret in Delaware the following night. … Deutch treat: Nomi Deutch had a college graduation ceremony to remember. The daughter of Zev Deutch of Glenside and Sharon Deutch of Berkeley, Calif., graduated from the Schreyer Honors College of Penn State winning the Reddy Mission Award. Next up? Traveling to Turkey, where she'll serve as a Fulbright scholar for the 2005-06 academic year. … Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker - may as well repeat this 14 times since Philly family doc Hymen Kanoff, D.O., has been re-elected for a 14th term as speaker of the house of delegates at the Pennsylvania Osteopathic Medical Association's 97th annual clinical assembly, held recently in King of Prussia. Four more, Hymen, and you've got a chai-five comin' at ya. … Ooh, that smarts! Sabra and Philadelphia son Joseph Neubauer, CEO/chairman, ARAMARK, has made his mark again, this time saluted with the Corporate Citizenship Award of the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars in Philadelphia. … See Josh, run. Run, Josh, run: Joshua Feissner took third place in the Philadelphia Bar Association 5K Run (Male, Ages 30-34 Division). By the way, 5K equals 3 miles, which, like many contingency fees, represents 60 percent. … That was Tina Krinsky, co-owner of the Julian Krinsky Camps & Programs of Philadelphia, being chatted up by Mitch Albom on the Akiba Hebrew Academy graduate's talk show emanating from WJR in Detroit, where broadcaster/journalist Albom works for the Detroit Free Press. … If it ain't Brokaw, don't fix it? Well, Warminster's Steve Capus may have a hand in helping keep NBC News No. 1: He's just been upped to senior veepee in the network's news division. … For art's sake: Local landscape architect Laurie Olin joins architect Peter Eisenman as winner of a Philadelphia Exhibitions Initiative grant to continue their work at the Institute of Contemporary Art. … For art's and business' sake: Lynn and Harold Honickman snared the G. Fred DiBona Jr. Individual Leadership Award of the Arts & Business Council of Greater Philadelphia. … Her own "Trial by Jury," the latest segment of the "L&O" NBC franchise, has been a trial by fire to a degree - the show hasn't been picked up for fall - but Tony Award-winner Bebe Neuwirth knows how to bounce - and sing - back. Princeton's pride and joy will perform "Weill and Kander & Ebb" in a July 20 program at the Mann Center for the Performing Arts. And, no, copies of Lilith mag will not be handed out at the concert. … Strings attached: Curtis Institute of Music grad Zina Schiff has come out with her eighth CD, the Jewish-inspired "Elijah's Violin." The instrument's no stranger to Schiff; the violinist has soloed a couple of times with the Philadelphia Orchestra. … It seems inconceivable, but, busy as he is, the Main Line's Mike Tollin is co-producing yet another project, "Inconceivable," about a fertility clinic, set for NBC's fall petri dish.