Ellen Braunstein
Growing up, Mark Victor and his brother Scott would come home to the sound of their mother playing Chopin and Rachmaninoff from memory on the family piano.
“There was always music in the house,” Mark Victor said.
That love of music, along with a devotion to family, Jewish life and lifelong learning, remained central to the life of Phyllis Ford Victor, who died on May 14 in Delray Beach, Florida. She was 99.
Victor was a lifelong supporter of Jewish causes, a passionate supporter of Israel and a longtime member of Adath Israel of the Main Line in Merion Station. Family members said she took pride in her Jewish identity, her support for Israel and her commitment to Jewish philanthropy, including the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia and Jewish Adoption and Family Care Options (JAFCO).
She grew up in Philadelphia in a close-knit Jewish family and was raised in the Conservative movement. Her family belonged to Har Zion Temple, where she was married years later.
After moving to the suburbs, she and her husband attended Temple Beth Hillel-Beth El in Wynnewood before joining Adath Israel, where multiple generations of the family celebrated life-cycle events.
Born on April 9, 1927, Victor grew up first on D Street in Philadelphia and later in the Wynnefield section of the city. Her parents were Henry Ford, a business owner, and his wife Fay.
Her musical talent emerged early. Even during the Depression, her family continued her piano lessons, and she developed into an accomplished pianist. She also took singing and dancing lessons. At the University of Pennsylvania, Victor played for the university orchestra and retained a lifelong love of classical music.
It was also at Penn that she met Herbert Victor, a World War II veteran attending college on the GI Bill after serving in Europe. Family members said the two met while commuting to campus and he pursued her even though she was engaged to someone else. He proposed to her on a bench in front of Irvine Auditorium at Penn. The couple went on to share a 74-year marriage.
After graduating, Herbert Victor joined a family electrical construction business in the Philadelphia area.
“It was truly a wonderful, loving marriage,” said her son Scott Victor. “They were inseparable.”
Mark Victor said his father “absolutely adored her” and that their relationship became a model for later generations of the family.
Like many women of her era, Victor became a full-time homemaker after becoming a mother. Her sons described her as a constant source of encouragement and support.
“The most incredible mother,” Scott Victor said. “She was just the most supportive mother any child could wish to have.”
Mark Victor said she celebrated every accomplishment, no matter how small.
“She just took such delight in any little thing we did,” he said.
Family members said she endured profound heartbreak during her life. Between the births of her two sons, she lost a daughter shortly after a full-term delivery. Three years after Scott was born, another son died shortly after birth. Relatives said those losses remained with her throughout her life, but she refused to let them define her.
She later managed numerous chronic health problems for years while maintaining her independence and optimism. Her sons said she rarely complained, even as her health challenges increased.
Outside of family, Victor’s greatest passion was bridge. A skilled bridge player who earned master points, she played in tournaments and continued playing until the last few weeks of her life.
“Bridge was critical to her in her later years. She played every day,” Scott Victor said.
Bridge also provided an important social outlet. Whether playing in Philadelphia or South Florida, she built lasting friendships through the game. Those closest to her recalled that she loved both the intellectual challenge and the camaraderie.
Travel was another important part of her life. She and her husband spent decades enjoying cruises and time at the Jersey Shore before becoming longtime South Florida snowbirds.
They eventually settled full time in Florida, where they spent their final years.
Relatives remembered Victor as elegant, self-assured and impeccably dressed. She loved history and politics, maintained a busy social calendar and placed a high value on manners and personal conduct. Her sons recalled that chewing gum was discouraged in her presence and that the family’s carefully decorated white living room was famously off-limits to children.
She also had a gift for creating beautiful homes. Whether in suburban Philadelphia, at the Jersey Shore or later in Florida, family members said she decorated with impeccable taste and filled her surroundings with treasures collected during years of travel.
Her favorite terms of endearment were “Dearie” and “Beauty,” words family members still hear in their minds when they think of her.
Above all, relatives said, Victor remained deeply involved in the lives of her children, five grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, delighting in their accomplishments and cherishing opportunities to spend time together.
Family members said she rarely missed an opportunity to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and milestones. Phone calls, letters, and later FaceTime conversations helped her remain closely connected to younger generations, even after moving full time to Florida.
“She was definitely our matriarch,” Mark Victor said.
Scott Victor agreed.
“That was her most important goal,” he said. “It was her family.”
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance obituary writer. She welcomes suggestions for individuals who had meaningful ties to the Philadelphia Jewish community. Email [email protected].