Phillie Phanatic to Take Legal Action Against El Al?*


The lovable green mascot of the Phillies was reportedly embarrassed over the Israeli airline seat sizes being too small for him.

An El Al flight bound for Israel was held up for several hours on the runway of Philadelphia International Airport on Monday morning by the Phillie Phanatic, the lovable but uncomfortable green mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Apparently the Phanatic, who was joining the Birthright trip of his younger cousin, Phreddie, was forced to take up two seats when he couldn’t fit into one, according to an El Al flight attendant.

“At first I thought he was upset because he was seated in between two women — we’ve had that problem before — but then I saw that he was hanging out of his seat,” said the attendant, who preferred to remain anonymous. “He was irate and throwing hot dogs all over the place; while we were able to determine they were all beef, they were not certified kosher!"

The tearful woman added, “He shook his belly at me.”

Nathan Thurm, the spokesman for the Phillies organization, said the team was looking into possible legal action it could take against the Israeli airline for “embarrassing our mascot even more than our team’s record the last couple of years.” Thurm also noted that the Phanatic intended to eat schwarma on the trip regardless of his weight issues.

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the Phanatic to branch out and try new Mediterranean cuisine,” he explained. “We aren’t too worried about his weight slowing him down on the field.”

*This article is part of the Exponent's Purim shpiel edition.


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