What ended up setting in motion lifelong love for one Philadelphia couple reads as a dusty anecdote from a time capsule for others.
The year was 1992. George H.W. Bush was president and gas cost less than $1.50 a gallon. In Philadelphia, Steven Ludwig, a lawyer, decided that he wasn’t interested in being single anymore. So, he flipped open the Philadelphia Jewish Exponent and went to the romance line — a now-extinct section where singles could post about themselves with hopes of earning a date — and flipped to where women had submitted short written entries to tout their bona fides. Little did he know this decision would lead to a marriage, two children and a funny story that the Ludwigs would tell for the rest of their lives.
The first entry he saw was titled “All the Good Things.” In it, the unnamed woman wrote that “all of the good things in this attractive, intelligent — funny, too — single Jewish female, 30, looking for a single Jewish man.”
The writer of “All the Good Things” said she was looking for a man at least 5-feet-10 inches tall who didn’t smoke, liked the outdoors, enjoyed good food and loved “lazy Sundays with the New York Times.”
Ludwig thought that sounded like him, so he submitted a reply.
Elsewhere in Philadelphia, Alicia Driks was waiting to hear back from any single men who might have seen her romance ad in the Jewish Exponent. She had cleverly listed her entry as “All the Good Things” so that it would be listed at the top in the paper’s alphabetical system.
Driks had recently become single, but she was already growing weary of the dating scene. She made sure that any replies to her posting were to be submitted in writing and not in the form of a voicemail, because a man she had previously received written correspondence from said he wanted to “meat” her. She decided that writing would allow her to vet any interested parties’ grammatical and spelling abilities.
Then, a few weeks after she posted the ad seeking a tall, Jewish, non-smoking outdoorsman, she received a reply that made her smile.
“Dear All the Good Things, I am a SJM, 33, 6-feet-1 inch, non-smoker (I don’t inhale) with a good sense of humor (for a lawyer). Poor penmanship. Into bicycling, theater, movies, reading, etc. However, I am a lapsed Sunday Times reader, but can be easily converted back. Take a deep breath and call.”
Driks enjoyed that message, and then saw the postscripts.
“P.S. if you get my secretaries voicemail machine, say you’re calling from the New York Times. P.P.S. no blind dates from hell or your money back,” wrote the mystery man.
Driks called the number he had provided. When Ludwig answered, the conversation rolled easily and soon the two had plans for an actual date at a restaurant in Philadelphia’s Chinatown. Driks told him what to watch out for when he arrived. The couple’s youngest daughter, Miriam, recalled the story from her mother’s point of view.
“They didn’t know what each other looked like, so she said she would be wearing a red shirt. My dad said, ‘Great, that’s perfect — I have red hair,’” she said. “When my mom showed up, the first thing she thought was, ‘This man doesn’t have red hair. He’s bald!’”
Miriam Ludwig laughed as she explained how her father had technically told the truth, as he used to have red hair when he was younger. What could be interpreted by some as dishonesty was taken in stride by Driks, who thought the misdirection was funny.
The date rolled from there, and after dinner the two went to a hotel bar for a drink. After that, Driks dropped Ludwig at home.
Things moved relatively fast, and the two were married in 1994.
This year, the Ludwig’s are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary thanks to the romance line. Sue Henick, who became friends with Steve while they were undergrads at University of Pennsylvania, said she is not surprised that Alicia took to him.
“Steve is the kind of person who always remembers birthdays, always remembers anniversaries and is always checking up on you,” she said.
The couple’s older daughter, Brinna, said that the example her parents set for her helped lead her to her fiance.
“My fiance and I were set up in an unconventional way,” she said. “Seeing my parents and their openness to go on a blind date influenced my decision to ultimately go out with my fiance. They took a leap and were proactive about finding a partner, and that influenced me.”
The Ludwigs didn’t waste any time in their mutual courtship, but that’s not to say the dating phase went by without a hitch. Their second date ended up giving the family one of their favorite stories, Brinna explained.
“[My dad] asked her to go to the opera with him, at which point my mom thought, ‘Oh this guy is really classy.’ My dad proceeded to fall asleep at the opera,” she laughed. “And that’s one of the greatest things about my parents, is they can always laugh at each other when the situation warrants it.”
For Miriam Ludwig, her parents’ relationship exemplifies the unity of two families.
“There was no difference between [their own] parents and [their] in-laws. They really showed us how to absorb each other’s families and that you aren’t just loving each other, but each other’s families,” she said.
Henick said that she saw how similar Alicia and Steve were from the beginning, and that the addition of Alicia to the close-knit group of Penn graduates was an easy one. Miriam said that the two are so alike that sometimes it ends up to her detriment.
“Sometimes I will go to my Mom for some advice, and she’ll tell me something and I think, ‘That’s exactly what Dad said,’” she laughed.
The Ludwigs can also stick out amongst a crowd because of how much fun they have together. Miriam Ludwig explained:
“At a wedding we went to recently, nobody was on the dance floor but my dad really wanted to dance. He immediately pulled my mom on the dance floor and they were just swinging each other around and laughing and having such a good time even with nobody else dancing,” she said.
The Chinese restaurant that played host to the Ludwigs’ first date became a storied part of the family’s history. Brinna recalled good memories growing up where her parents, her sister and her went to the now-closed food spot and were regaled with stories of their parents’ courtship.
Miriam added that she thinks it’s a funny choice for a first date spot, as Chinese restaurants often encourage diners to order “family style,” or together. The teamwork required to agree on what kind of lo mein to get has only been strengthened in the decades since.
As a part of the generation that meets its significant others on dating apps and social media, Brinna and Miriam Ludwig have an extra special appreciation for the methods their parents used to find love. Henick said that the world back then was a different place, but that the couple’s connection has continued to evolve along with the times.
Philadelphia itself is one of the most important characters in this story, Brinna Ludwig said. The family is entrenched here, and its roots are only expanding as Steve and Alicia’s daughters begin to grow up.
“When I moved back to Philly after college, I was going to bars like Dirty Frank’s and my parents would tell me, ‘Oh, we went to Dirty Franks all the time in our 20s!’” she said. “It’s nice that the city has been our frame of reference, and a backdrop for all of our memories.”