Can We Learn to Really Hear?

By Rabbi George Stern

Parshat Ha’azinu

Almost everyone reading this column will know the word sh’ma, usually translated as “hear.” This week’s parashah (Torah portion) begins with a synonym, ha’azinu, often translated as “give ear” (the Hebrew word for ear is ozen). Some say that the words have different valances, one referring to the physical act of using our ears, the other to truly hearing, paying attention, heeding. That is a great distinction — though not all commentators agree on which is which. (Two Jews, at least two contradictory opinions.)

I recently purchased a new book, “It Takes Two to Torah,” by Abigail Pogrebin, a Reform Jewish journalist, and Rabbi Dov Linzer, an Orthodox rabbi. It’s a compilation of podcasts in which they talked through each parashah. With humor, candor and very different styles they shared ideas, agreed, disagreed and agreed to disagree — all with open ears and hearts and a desire to learn from one another. In the Ha’azinu podcast, Rabbi Linder admitted, “I have a lot of prepackaged ideas about various Torah passages and verses, and sometimes I’m just downloading them to others. I remember when you and I were starting, I was sharing my ideas and not doing nearly enough listening. But in the process, I really learned how to listen better — you taught me that — and it has been a real growth experience for me. I have learned a tremendous amount from your insights and questions.”

Truly hearing is something we all struggle with, especially in an America polarized by divisive rhetoric that sets one group against another. (I imagine that some reading this column are worrying about surviving upcoming family gatherings.)

Our Jewish tradition has thrived on discussion and open debate for 2,000 years. In the Talmud, rabbis discussed and disagreed with one another, struggling to determine God’s will so that they could guide the people. With a few notable exceptions, they debated without rancor, often deciding teiku, we have no final answer., i.e., all the above positions are valid. Similarly, the Conservative movement’s 25-member Committee on Jewish Law and Standards operates on the assumption that any “conclusion” that receives at least six votes is an official position that rabbis and congregations can follow.

The Reform movement’s Responsa Committee issues “conclusions” that serve as guidelines for individuals, rabbis and congregations to consider as they make autonomous decisions. The members of both committees listen carefully to one another, debate civilly, agree or disagree — and then reconvene for more dialogue.

From 1972 to 1999, I served a young congregation in which there was never an issue we couldn’t discuss openly. These days, the threat of congregational splits looms large, especially over Israel. I fear for the future of the Jewish community, riven by incivility and fears of expressing opinions about Israel.

For years, many of our institutions adopted the viewpoint that Israel could do no wrong. We still often fail to speak and teach objectively about Israel — its extraordinary successes, but also its internal challenges. We have avoided considering the complications inherent in Israel’s struggle to meet the dreams expressed in its own Declaration of Independence, which envisions a nation that “will promote the development of the country for the benefit of all its inhabitants; will be based on precepts of liberty, justice and peace taught by the Hebrew prophets; will uphold the full social and political equality of all its citizens without distinction of race, creed or sex; will guarantee full freedom of conscience, worship, education and culture….”

Our avoidance of truth-telling has alienated many younger Jews who know Israel not as a struggling nation of oppressed Jews but rather as an economically and militarily strong state that oppresses weaker others.

Happily, there are models that help us hear one another. Two congregations (there may be others) stand out as places that encourage open-minded conversations about Israel. One set up “listening sessions” at which attendees shared personal concerns about and connections to Israel. We just listened; no one responded. The other has bi-weekly sessions examining the history of Israel and the Palestinians, the emotions that drive them apart and the similarities that might potentially bring them together.

At this season, I hope we will all commit to civility in the runup to our elections and to open-minded listening to one another of all ages about Israel.

Rabbi George Stern served as a congregational rabbi and as director of the Neighborhood Interfaith Movement in Mount Airy. He is a member of the Mazkirut of Dorshei Derekh Reconstructionist Minyan at Germantown Jewish Centre and also worships at Congregation Rodeph Shalom. The Board of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia is proud to provide diverse perspectives on Torah commentary for the Jewish Exponent. The opinions expressed in this column are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the view of the Board of Rabbis.