“A man of peace:” Legendary Philadelphia Rabbi Gabay Passes Away

On October 10, Rabbi Amiram Gabay, founder of the Congregation Beit Harambam and a major figure of Philadelphia’s Sephardic and Jewish communities, passed away. He leaves a massive hole in his family and the community at large. His friend and colleague Rabbi Ira Budow of the Abrams Hebrew Academy, described him as a pillar of Philadelphia Jewry.

“He brought the Sephardic culture to our community. He was the father of it, and now the father has left,” he said. “Everyone understood his greatness. It’s rare to call someone ‘the one,’ but he really was the one. He started this [Sephardic community] and he had a store, he had a shul, he was a teacher. He was the quintessential Jew.”

Gabay, born in Morocco, was a reserved and intentional man who had a lifetime of noteworthy experiences, but preferred not to be the center of attention. Another colleague, Rabbi Isaac Leizerowski of Congregation Beth Midrash HaRav B’Nai Jacob, said that he could express a lot without saying much.

“He had the sense of knowing what to say and when to say it,” Leizerowski said. “His gaze and his nod were — to those who understood — enough of a message as to whether he found something favorable or not.”

While Gabay will be missed as a community leader and source of Talmudic wisdom, his most prized role was being a husband to his wife, Rachel, and father to his four children. His daughter, Sima Sherman, said that he was truly the leader of their family. He led holidays, often opening up the Gabay table to outsiders who didn’t have a home or family of their own to go to.

“Kids that didn’t have family here in Philadelphia, or Russians or Israelis who moved here, or people that weren’t religious and were on some sort of journey — he would accommodate anyone who walked into the synagogue,” she said.

Sherman’s sister and Amiram’s other daughter, Ruthie Gabay, said that what he stressed to his children was being a part of the community. Rabbi Gabay volunteered as clergy at prisons, he spent time working with 9/11 support groups and he volunteered with Jewish police officers, among the many other duties he performed as a rabbi, community leader and father. Ruthie said that this has guided the way that her and her siblings live, too.

Her sister said that she was always amazed by their father’s ability to touch people beyond the surface, even in small interactions.

“He was a ritual leader that felt beauty. Even people that weren’t Jewish would say that they were so amazed by his ability to have these deep conversations and exchanges,” Sherman said.

Ruthie Gabay added that this skill was effective in nurturing lost Jewish souls, too.
“He was very good at helping people who felt disenfranchised by Judaism feel a part of it,” she said. “He said that the Torah has a place for everybody, and that [any] affiliation is part of the link and the fabric of Judaism.”

In fact, Gabay developed a reputation as a go-to option for b’nai mitzvah preparation for students of Israeli families who were largely unaffiliated. He had the special skill of being able to spark a passion for this process in even the most apathetic preteens.

One of the Rabbi’s sons, Eli, said that he was always impressed by his father’s breadth of knowledge. He said that his commitment to education was apparent not just by his work at multiple area Jewish day schools, but in his own personal pursuit of advanced degrees.

“We can continue his legacy by continuing our own studies and by being vibrant members of the community,” Eli Gabay said.

His brother, Dr. Raphael Gabay, said that he too will remember their father as a teacher. Since Amiram’s passing, Raphael has heard from a number of people who have told him that his father played an outsize role in their life.

One person came forward and told him that when their mother died of cancer and their father had to care for them, the Gabay’s silently helped with food, clothing and rent.

Another said that the rabbi taught both their father and grandfather, and he has Gabay to thank for the family still being observant. There have even been some people who only moved to the area within the last few months or year before Gabay’s passing, but still had an interaction notable enough with the rabbi that they expressed their condolences to Raphael.

“People coming out of left field, those are interesting because somehow their paths crossed [because of] factors that you would have never assumed,” he said.

Amiram Gabay’s pure love for Judaism, discourse and serving the community is exemplified by him and Rachel’s ownership of the Jerusalem Gift Shop.

“My mother ran it as a saleswoman, and my father was the rabbi there with the tefillin and the mezuzah and the judaica, and he was always there to discuss books,” Ruthie said. “I got to see my dad as a husband who supported my mom as a woman running a store, which was really great.”

Budow said that he was able to effectively serve this role at the shop for the same reason that he excelled as a teacher at Abrams Hebrew Academy: Gabay was incredibly intelligent, and a naturally gifted educator.

“His pronunciation of Hebrew was impeccable — he was able to pronounce things that most of us never could. He would teach kids to read and write the right way. He was also a person who was able to teach Talmud,” Budow said. “It’s not very often where you can say that you have a total scholar in your midst, and that was Rabbi Gabay.”

Budow said that perhaps what he appreciates most about Gabay’s legacy at Abrams is his groundbreaking appeal to Sephardic families.

“We now have a lot of Sephardic children in our school, and that really started with Rabbi Gabay, because once families heard that he was at Abram’s, many Sephardic families came here and we still have that tradition to this day that we embrace,” he said.

Leizerowski said that Gabay was also respected by the Ashkenazi community because he was so approachable, wise and had a universal relatability.

“He didn’t argue. He was a man of peace. He was a remedy to contentious situations, and he always did it constructively,” he said.

The Gabay family will miss Amiram, as will the community at large, but his loved ones are finding comfort in the fact that they still learn more about the legendary Rabbi every day.

“So many people are coming out of the woodwork telling me stories of how he impacted their lives, and he never told us any of them. He never bragged,” Sherman said. “Gemilut Hasadim means ‘a world of kindness,’ and he gave that. Life is a journey, and somehow or another through his quiet way, he was able to relate to people wherever they were on their journey.”

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